31.5.10
hmmms (:
i'm glad someone woke me up today .
if not i will be late (:
thank you love !
hahah !
o level eheh .
get so many well wishes eheh from ppl (:
thankyou all (:
i din realise everyone want me to have th best thing in life .
want me to have something tht they dun .
I'm thankful to have them .
hahah (:
they may be those type who ppl think no future .
but their heart is something most ppl dun have (:
haha .
malay was okay eheh .
......
.........
...........
All i have someone & fall in love .
but somehow it's not my destiny right now eheh .
aiyoo .
i was hoping . i was wishing .
but that was not it was .
30.5.10
hi (:
currently at bhy's crib eheh .
jauh per aku gy .
dari yishun ke pasir ris (: hahah(:
miss him lahh (:
huakhuakhuak (:
met bhy's grandmother .
sooo cute eheh .
bhy beside me playing psp .
bertuahh pehh anak .
orang suro mandi , nak main psp .
five mins five mins (((;
NOW I MUST SAY BYE BYE !
COS NEED ASK SOME ASS TO BATH RIGHT .
come back from gym,,
dunnoe how to bath ((:
byebye .
Hmmms . was suppose to meet bhy at 5.30 pm yesterday at Bugis .
because i got 2hrs 30 mins to spare , i went to take a nap .
but then , i woke up at 5.30 and rush down bugis .
he waited for me faithfully for two god damn hours wiothout complaining .
how can i not love him ?
a nice gentleman who truly loves me .
and ya , before that , i fought with bhy .
IM SORRY BHY .
ahahah .
so many things happened eheh .
for instant my dumbness & semangat eheh .
heheheheheh !
let me & bhy & bhy's sedare be th only people who know it (:(:
28.5.10
why am i attracting guys everywhere i go ?
I'm not pretty or anyone's dream girl eheh .
but i know i'm a "manja" and sweet girl .
can anyone enlighten me ?
tell & show me the reasons why i'm attracting guys here .
it makes me feel so guilty right here .
but all i know is , never let go of the someone you love , for someone you like (:
27.5.10
he's nice & sweet .
everything i said , he was shaped out to be someone charming & sweet heh .
a real gentleman .
But no one is perfect eheh !
most of the times , he assures me he's never gonna flirt heh .
but evey guy will flirt and have flings heh .
and i wonder at times where he'll be .
who is he with and is there any other chicks replacing me .
& at times i wondering am i doing th right thing ?
he tell me i'm stuck up at times .
It's simply cause i don't want him to know i love him .
i dun wanna him to take me for granted .
and i dun wanna him to think he can make use of me .
my love is limited for him
only because that he's far away
he can flirt and mengatal anytime .
i'm here all alone .
26.5.10
hi (:
now i'm at school .
having a break after a long revision for a malay paper which is coming up soon .
omgawd , MALAY O LEVEL !
damndamndamn .
hahahah ! i swear i need to buck up & i swear i need to tame myself down .
heh . aku tgh blajar and evrything goes into my brain .
but somehow , i can't help thinking about you .
everything is wrong .
but how am i suppose to tell that ?
he's sweet and stuffs .
but why do i still feel lonely sia ?
i never have to worry who he's out with cause i trust him .
but somehow , something isn't right somewhere .
heh ! pfft !
i don't know what to do heh !
mati lahh aku gini .
irfan kater aku can postpone whatever decision i have to make .
yaa , i'm postpone-ing this after my o heh !
so i can just sit down & study .
25.5.10
hey . hi .
hmms .
something happen today heh .
& it kills me silently inside . told no one so i got to handle it on my own .
i'm proud that i'm so tough to go through all this .(:
but even the toughest one will cry one day .
i'm breaking apart .
trying my very best to keep myself into one piece heh .
whatever you do , it will catch up with you one day heh .
heh .
and i'm suffocating here . so many people around me heh .
i don't mind if they treat me as a friend .
but then , heh , they regard me more than friend .
someone closer .
tryna get into my good books
& then disappear heh .
i may be laughing acting like one mother fucker crazy bitch .
but this pain inside , do they really see it ?
stop all this .
i'm sick and tired of all this .
and you know , one day , i'm just gonna explode .
too many of good things can make you sick heh .
and i'm already sick of it .
so today , tryna avoid everyone including shaffree .
bhy , sorry .
wasn't in th mood .
MOODY MOTHERFUCKER HEH !
hmmms .
gtg .
bye .
23.5.10
hey . hi .
here i am again , rotting at home .
finding th old me who can just sit at home and sleeps .
hahaha .
well , i must get use to be sitting at home again heh .
cause , i dun wanna any hal kat luar anymore .
malas and so penat layan karena orang yg mcm sial kat luar .
those ain't friend if they backstab you .
heh .
i just can't be bothered lahh ehk .
haha .
bhy . i love you kay ?
tkmo naughty2 over there .
ilyssssmm !
heh .
besok jper ehkk .
boy , i miss you damn mucchh .
muahh .
22.5.10
Hairi said that the adoration i had for shaff will turn into love .
I told him that he was wrong .
And lately , i realised , my adoration is already turning to love .
Whether he knows it or not .
And i'm proud to say i love my ninja turtle and till the end , i will be his (:
He's my love (:
The one who's here all this time for me , be it good or bad .
he loves me for who i am and never shows me tht he is angry when i'm in a foul mood .
he never said harsh words to me when guys asked for my number .
he never leave me alone in th cold when i need him .
and he , the guy who protects me when i need it .
never fails to say he love me everyday .
he never stop having faith in me when troubles in my life comes .
and i know he love me .
trustworthy asshole .
soooo cute .
and you know , i love him .
he's my lil ninja turtle .
he makes me smile and laugh .
he still accept me after all this incident .
BHY I LOVE YOU .
and i never wanna let you go .
now i found you , i have love you ,
i never wanna let you go .
cause i need you here .
and i know you need me too .
after all . where can you get one hot crazy ass like me?
hahah .
bhy , don't leave me alone .
i need you bhy .
21.5.10
i miss my baby Boo (:
hahah .
he's working today . and i sat at home all day long .
got bored and went to my auntie hse .
currently at auntie hse and will be sleeping over here .
heh . Bhy , i miss you .
missing you badly bhy , you , i syg you tao !
ninja turtle !
heh ,
sayang i tk ?
pasal i sayang you .
muah muahh muahhh .
you make me smile and happy (:
i appreciate everything you do to make me happy yeah ?
you tetap bersabar ngan i biler mood swing i dtg .
you ttp sayang i .
u , i love you soo much .
and this come from th bottom my heart .
muah muah muah .
i'm finally letting someone inside ma heart .
hey , he's been here all th tyme .
everything bad happened , he stills accept me for who i am .
never fail to make me smile and evrything .
and yeah , i love him .
and i felt so proud having someone here who really love me .
bhy , walaupon byk mat mtk num , i ttp syg u (:
you're th one for me .
trust me .
i can't be th best human in th world .
but i knw , with my love , i can be th greatest girl you ever had (:
love , me (:
17.5.10
sayang dan cinta sungguh berbeza .
what irfan said make sense .
it will be complicated for me at first .
especially he said i'm traumatised .
byk lahh kau nyer traumatised ehy pandai !
sayang isn't love .
cinta is love .
sayang is adoration .
and i sayang shaffree .
bhy , i'm sure one day i will love you as much as you love me .
don't worry , i won't run .
cause , you're th perfect reason for my smiles lately .
you run through my mind eheh lately .
niari , i fikir jap .
antara kiter , boleh ker ?
and then i think through deeply and i know all it takes is to have trust .
and i trust you bhy .
dun break that trust i give eheh hunney .
ba , it's hard not to smile when i receive your sms-es .
it's hard to say i tk sayang you cos i do .
it's hard to say bhy , i love you , cause , it doesn't really describe how i feel towards you .
so SOME words i think will make you understand .
rindu . trust . kisses . hugs . bhy. ba . PUFFERFISH . NINJA TURTLE
I may not have th perfect girl that you want .
i may not be th one with heavy make up on .
i may not be th best kisser .
but i know , one day , i will be the best love you ever had .
bhy , i sayang you .
muahhhh.
yesterday was awesome .
as promised , update blog about yesterday .
ouhhya , i was talking about th new found friends ehy .
hahahah !
LAME SAKK . think i'm so friendly (:
me and tht someone i adore went fishing for few minutes .
got bored because other ppl keep getting .
hahah !
someone beside us got a big fish .
and an apek help using a net .
but somehow , the net broke into half , i think . if not also 2/3 lah ehyy .
then hunger strikes , heheheh(:
went to downtown to eat .
i ingatkan you nk mkn jugak ehy pantat~
and then i was about to pay when he said something uhy.
so i made him pay ((:
and it finally rained .
WOW !
heh . bhy , i smoke sikit je lahh . aner ader byk .
then bus-ed to yishun cause i wanted to go arcade .
he hug me tightly when he knew i was cold .
hahah . he's sleepy ehh at tht point of time cus he didnt sleep the whole night .
this part is secret ehy .
we were about to go down to level one .
when we wanted to use th escalator . we realised tht it wasnt going at th right direction heh .
waited for haikal after that .
so sat near my block .
as usual , find a spot to lay down .
coincidentally , shaffree was sitting in a position that i can lie down .
hehheh .
all th way he kept saying " i fucking love you but i hate your MOOD SWING EHY "
bhy . i'm sorry .
love lahh to kacau him .
atleast he has th gentleman character and someone who really love me ehy .
i told him this
:" you nk ader scandal tu u nyer pasal ehy , jgn kasi i tao sudah"
he's sweet lahh (:
adore him .
sayang him .
love ? bhy . gimme us some time kay hunney !
muahhh !
16.5.10
had a fun day today ((: went to pasir ris park ((:
ingatkan nk gy sorg . abehyy bhy teman kan ((:
how sweet . i guess i'm super friendly huh .
managed to make friends with th apek2 who went fishing .
da lamer tk gy fishing kan .
tu pon waited for bhy lahhh .
anw , update my blog besook yeee .
ader org menyebok kat sini ((:
haahahah.
bhy, i loveyoutao.
you love me . but my mood swing ..
HAHA. laen cite lahh tu .
muahhh !
14.5.10
in life , you only get to do some things once .
you can never love someone as much as you love someone else .
because , everyone is different .
hati i tawar dalam percintaan sumer nyy .
and i never know if i can able to stand on my two feets every again .
like people said , it takes time to heal a broken heart .
i tell them , it will still leave a scar behind .
and someone once told me
"a girl like you makes it hard for a guy not to like you"
and i said deep down inside "it's guys like you who made me lose faith in love"
i know one day i will be in love again when my mr right is here .
but honestly , i can't see myself in love anymore .
sometimes i miss having someone beside me .
but i see no reason to find love anymore .
shaffree , forgive me bhy .
i admit i like you . but love , i can't say the same thing .
even if i'm with you , you won't be my life guy .
you can't be here when i need you .
you can't be here when i cry .
i rather be alone , seeking solace in myself .
love has no meaning to me anymore .
and guys are just friends .
even when they say they love me all .
hati i dah tawar rabak giler .
i don't wanna be wasting your time bhy .
i'm broken enough bhy .
i manja sangat bhy .
manja giler .
and you jauh sangat , you tao ker aper yang i rase sebenarnyer ?
bhy , i very fussy and sensitive about this .
i don't wanna be with any tom , dick or harry .
i need someone who is worth my time .
i think it through bhy .
i see no point loving someone when someone is just goona hurt you .
& i seen how easy love fade away from people .
my mom stopped loving my dad
just because he is disabled due to accident and can't give her what she wants .
if the love for 11 years fades within a blink of eye ,
this crappy love you're saying could be way faster uhy ?
bottom line is , bhy , i cant be that someone special to you .
eventhough sometimes i miss having someone by my side .
but i just don't get the feelings right .
my heart ain't a toy . it needs special attention & handled with care .
bhyy , i da taklehh .
i tk tao aper i nak .
i hope we distant ourselves .
PLABUTO SAMA ANDA .
this laptop mtk kene campak .
13.5.10
bhy . i mtk maaf bhy .
but lately i don't know why you're so mean ):
you never seem to know how i feel .
there you go yakking about your troubles .
and i feel damn helpless knowing i can't do anything to help .
and i don't know why , but i'm just not in the love mood anymore bhy .
i know i wanna be with you .
but gimme time .
someone hurt me badly
& you among all people should know how i feel .
and if i can't get this right between us now .
will i ever get it right in th future?
uhhhy ?
baby , tell me what to do honeyy):
heeyy . fyda here (:
DUHHHH =.=
jengjengjeng (((:
just came back home from school ((:
hahahah(:
ltr going my mummy shop ((:
hmms .
did my biology paper halfway je .
lazzzzy lahhh)):
aiyooo .
someone really piss me off today seriously .
ahahaha . anyway i woke up late & hurried my ass to school .
took th cab and there goes my 6 dlr ):
hahah .
anyway june hols is nearby .
so i gotta work and earn that money to do something .
and yeah after june or during june if i rarely update this blog meaning
IM BUSY STUDYING ((:
love ya ass ~~
anw shaffree ,
i know i love you .
but somehow , i dun wanna let my heart be crazy for you .
im sorry if i ever neglect you .
it's only because
my heart is my possesion .
i dun wanna share it anymore .
but shaffree , ily (:
11.5.10
hey . hi . hello (:
and i'm fyda here (:
obviously lahhh ehyy (:
huahuahua .
went slacking at ard six .
that was fifteen minutes after i woke up
& bathed .
smell nice (((:
wanna hug shaffree ?
hahah (:
anyway wanted to do home at seven .
halfway home when a sucker came from behind
begging me to stay .
fucking irritating taoo tak ?
he claims he love me all .
i effing don't care urhhy .
he's irritating to me ):
sorry .
he's only showing that he's desperate to get my attention .
i don't wanna him or give him my attetion .
cos i dun like him .
HE'S IRRITATING IN A WAY THAT TURNS PPL OFF .
u know ?
so , i'm soo soft hearted and i stayed .
pissing me out ):
weeeeeeeeeee~
i miss mummy ,
does she miss me too ?
mummy , ILY .
paham tk ? ILOVEYOU,MYHOTMUMMY !
i got it from my mama~
PERASAN kan ?
SHAFFREE . THIS IS FOR YOU HONEY (:
love me for who i am .
be it i'm ego or stuck up .
love me for what i have became .
be it easy or hard .
i love you cause you love me
endlessly showering me your love and care .
no one can ever not falling for you (:
and i know it's been hard for you
to enter my heart given to how hurt i was ,
but you stayed till th end (:
i am so happy that i have someone like you (:
p/s : bhy , don't KEMBANG reading this kay ?
love you sssooooosoooo muchhy .
KAY . BYE (:
SEE YOU(:
LOTS OF KISSES FOR MY MUMMY AND SHAFFREE .
and plenty of loves for mummy .
with lots and lots of adoration for Shaffree (:
weeee~
school was okay (":
had maths examination today ((:
quite okay luhrr .
maybee .
hahah ((:
then malay paper .
ESSAY ! hahah ((:
i wrote longlong grandfather story uhh .
then got spare time for the essay and i wrote something .
i longer living in ytd babe .
i'm no longer waited by my phone in home you would text me .
i'm no longer yearning for you .
no lnger wanna be with you .
i loved you once and you blew it away .
you're not worth my time .
THATS 1 PERCENT OF THE WHOLE THING I WROTE .
LTR I BLOG ABOUT IT OKAYYY ?
SHAFFREE , ILYSM (:
10.5.10
was thirty minutes late for my exam today )):
haishhh .
got forfeited i think )):
damnnn . i studied hard for it .
and got forfeited ???
what a waste .
anyway , celebrating mummy's day today .
i know it's late ((:
can't help it , mummy was working ytd .
i love her anywaysss .
ytd she look hot in tht purple dress .
i got it from my mama ~
so yeahhh .
shaffree , ilysm ((:
u make me smile everytime .
never fail to say he loves me everyday .
love to hear my voice on th phone ((:
he makes me soo happy .
well , i hope he loves with wholeheartedly (((((((((;
6.5.10
things aren't going well for me .
firstly i wanna say sorry to fauzie .
billions of apologises )):
seeing you like this , makes me feel guilty .
i don't know what to do anymore .
and i'm helpless seeing you like this .
cause i'm the cause of all this .
i'm so sorry .
haisshhh .
this thing has been bugging me .
rase bersalah sampai tk dpt diluahkan dgn kate2 .
aiyooo
5.5.10
i'm sick and tired of all this )):
i'm so afraid that my heart will be hurt once again .
why am i still hanging on the slightest hope to fall again ?
i have nothing left .
people , especially shaffree ,
when i'm gone , don't bother finding .
for i can't let this happen again .
im too scared to love again .
i know i have fallen fr you .
all the more i have to stay away .
he hurt me badly .
you can do it too .
im effing scared .
4.5.10
someone please , bring me up .
let me hold your hand and start things afresh .
too much for me to handle .
one after the other . how can i accept the fact ?
someone please , enlighten me . i need help .
let me believe once more so my life wouldn't be so miserable .
so much hatred storing in my heart ,
i don't wanna be so cold .
someone please , lend me a shoulder to cry on .
i need to break down and cry .
let this be th last tyme i shedding tears
for i wanna see you happy without worrying about me .
someone please , support me .
my heart and i is soo fragile right now ,
that i could break anytime .
walk with me through my lifetime .
someone please , bring back those laughters and smile .
cause , i know i can bring joy to people around me .
i know my laughter is contagious .
and life seem to be very dull without it .
someone PLEASE SLAP ME .
WAKE ME UP AND GET ME MOVING ON .
someone please , understand my plight .
i am feeling th pain , the hatred .
harapkan muke aje lawa kan kao ?
perangai mcm pukyy taoo .
hmmms .
asal urhh kao mengamok sgt ngn aku ?
aper crite siot ngn kao ?
mulut kao da lari ke maner ?
terus terang urhyy sia ngn aku .
tk perlu nk simbahh aku ngn milo .
prangai dork siaa .
asal ngan kao ?
naseb baek tdy aku tkder mood nk menjawab tao .
psl aku pandang kao pompan fauzie .
gerammmnyerr akuu .
haishh .
dunia nyy ehkk susahh urhyy nk ckp .
aiyooo .
sume hypocrite .
BOTTOM LINE , AKU TGH BINGIT .
3.5.10
alangkahh indahnya aku menatap wajah mu .
senyuman manis mu , aku selalu teringat ((:
nice line above?
hahahha !
only th ones who know will know (((:
grrr .
i'm sooo restless )):
no mood actually .
i don't want to fall in love for i'm scared .
it's gonna make me feel vulnerable .
and if someone take advantage of my love how ?
and suddenly i feel frustrated .
i'm still slee[y urhy actually . dumbbb perr .
ltr going out with my friends .
soo , i will update ltr .
2.5.10
why am i holding on to yesterday ?
im feeling th pain .
and how long must i keep hanging ?
kay today spent my time at shop (((:
new friend at shop . Name Hafiz .
a neighbour next door (:
quite funyy but sombong .
HAHAHAH !
anyway i brought new hot pants . sexy ~
perasan .
i miss someone .!!
saperr ? figure out yourself .
niway spent 15 mins looking at traffic .
i wonder those couples on the bike ,
does the guy really loves the girl ?
or just taking her for a ride ?
i can't seem to brush this aside .
tears in my eyes now .
hmms .
please someone , help me up .
gimme your hand and pull me up .
i need someone to show me something i once know .
y ruin me ? y? did i ever do anything to hurt you badly
tht you hurt me this way ?
till i can't brush this aside ?
