24.6.10
BHY !
taktao angkat telephone ker ? asal reject ?
nyy mesti ader cerite tao .
tatao uhuh aku .
bingit siao . bingit sesangat .
tengok uhuh besok .
aku nyre turn perangai .
da tao ego aku sebesar dunia lagi nk reject call aku .
aper cerite sia jantan nii .
cari nahas kankan .
jangan sampai aku nyer giler datang tao .
nanti biler aku tak layan , tak call , cakap aku tak sayang .
dier nak reply msg aku peh lamer .
eheh budak nyy satu .
susah ah ada mataer yg tinggal jauh kan .
aku kalo nak kluar malam2 kene ajak mataer org .
kene ajak lelaki lain .
aiyooo .
he's too far away uhuh .
takde transport lagy tuu . bukan ape uhuh .
kan susah biler aku ader angin nk jumper ke .
bus oh bus . asal korg tk 24 hours ?
kan senang sikit hidup aku nyy .
dier kluar ngn pompan lain ke ? ke g club nyy ?
aiyoo .
BINGIT PER AKU .
k bye .
20.6.10
I'm being honest with you baby .
i want you to be a part of my future .
that's why i'm telling you th truth .
and i know it's just a crush . and ppl says it's normal .
but i want you to know th truth .
so in th future , tkde pergaduhan baby .
i may just keep this as a secret . but i dun wan , cause i wanna you to know me .
i love you but i like him
i knw it hurts .
but i'm telling you th truth .
i'm trying to run away from him baby .
i da tk jpe dier lagy bhy .
please bhy / listen to me .
15.6.10
idk eh what to say . maybe i'm being sensitive or whatsoever .
but you tell me who wouldn't get jealous if your loved ones adding all those hot girls
& when you asked them who's that , they replied don't know .
wtf ? feign dumbness somemore .
saper tak sot eheh ? and furthermore , he chats with them thru facebook and msn .
when i go online he will ader lahh excuses . nak kluar lah aper la .
i'm keeping everything to myself kankan ?
now i dun care anymore .
he wants to flirt ke , main timer ke , mampos ke .
i no longer care cause i know i can do nothing kankan .
and ya , i'll do the same . see how he feels .
and by th end of th day , i'm th one losing out .
urghh . why do i fall in love ?
he's a playboy afterall .
he claimed he may changed , but his ways still have some ciri2 of a playboy .
grr , can't be bothered .
b , one day if you ever see me flirting kan , NOT MY FAULT OKAY .
U THINK UH , U FLIRT TOO INFRONT OF MY EYES .
only that you dun realise that (:
13.6.10
fucked up family eheh .
i dunnoe lahh .
i love my mother , but i dun wish to see her .
especially when there's grudges .
sister throwing tantrum like fuck .
gadoh ngn si sam tu , tkya nk tunjuk temper kat orang huh .
i need to tame my hot temper eheh .
this is th prob when my brother in law come over for awhile .
now , i locked myself in the room .
nothing to do .
b ader bende right now , so dun wanna call him just yet .
maybe at night eheh .
so here i am , rotting .
i woke up at six in th evening .
wooo !
must be damn tired eheh .
i wanna find work lah .
but i dun trust myself to be tht hardworking eheh .
ahahah .
ciao !
12.6.10
didn't come home yesterday .
was out , mrajok .
hmms .
came home today .
and sister is still sleeping .
die when she wake up . will nag and nag .
anyway , i wonder if i'm going to shaffree's hse .
that's all .
11.6.10
b alr came back singapore .
weee~
i miss him .
given to my ego , you think i will tell him that sweetly ?
hahah (:
seandainyer aku yang menyeksa batin mu ibu ,
haruskah aku pergi begitu sahaja ?
haruskah kau meninggalkan aku sebegitu ?
i dunnoe what's goin on between me and my mum .
it hurts to be fighting with her and all those words come out .
and given to my hot temper , people are more likely to blame me .
i cannot stand people being harsh to me .
cause i will defend myself without thinking .
and hurt people around .
i no longer care .
she doesn't love me ?
that's her problem .
all this while when she is financially stable ,
since when she's here for me ?
since when we go out tgt ?
since when we talk things out ?
we are helpless .
and we can never get along .
for all those things mummy ,
i begin to wonder where do i stand in your heart ?
just cause father divorce you cause you're having me , a girl .
doesn't mean you need to b bias to me .
i dunnoe lah mummy .
one day if i ever leave and not to come back mummy ,
dun bother finding me .
i will be safe and sound .
10.6.10
woke up at 7am (:
very early for me .
bath and send my sister to northpoint .
damn , i miss shaffree .
then i headed to my aunt's house .
here i am .
rotting . and it's just 9.47am right now .
usually i wud still be sleeping .
but felt too sick to fall asleep .
tao ?
coughing badly for days .
flu for days .
damn , i'm rotting .
kay . bye .
9.6.10
BOO !
did ntg except slacking eheh .
miss my baby .
miss my baby .
miss him .
miss him .
miss shaffree .
miss shaffree .
miss affy .
miss affy .
miss ninja turtle .
miss ninja turtle .
miss my b .
miss my b.
k ? i miss him !
8.6.10
b went Genting today at 5am (:
miss him laa )":
currently chatting with my friend .
semangat !
ahahah !
he's veryvery stress eheh .
dunnoe why . dude ! cheer up eheh .
today went to my mother's shop . come back home at five thirty .
anw a guy text me asking me if he can get to know me .
gosh , da tukar number pon ader nyy taik per ?
hem! bingit per .
so i was at this coffeshop . supper mahh .
then i saw midzi .
asal ehh biler aku da get ovver kau , trying to forget kau , kau appear depan aku ?
i don't wanna be tripping .
lagypon it's just poi kaddal .
so i wanna be setie to b .
kinda sad luh saw midzi .
we were so close to being together .
hmmm .
it's just th past .
so forget it eheh .
5.6.10
5th june 2o1o
eheh .
today like my clumsy-ness day eheh .
eheh , swing my bag of fishballs and th ting fly to b .
habis sume fishball ((:
hahahahah .
walked around tht effing mall & got bored lahh .
as usual , i got a short attention span ):
meaning , i get bored quickly eheh .
eheh .
btw b .
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NENEK IN ADVANCE ((:
going oversea soon eheh .
miss me eheh ?
hahahha .
sooo sweet uhuh .
my baby ninja !
hahahaahahahhah .
then i punch b .
& my bangle fly away sia .
eheheh .
funny but embarrassing sia .
seperti biase , b confirm akan blg cousin2 dier tuu .
aiyooo .
4.6.10
4th june eheh today
it's four am .
and today is th day i'm gonna unite with shaffree .
i hope i will settle down with him .
didn't really layan him today cause i was busy with all this thinking .
i love him & he obviously love me back ((;
why the hell am i letting him wait eheh .
so today , im gonna ask him for his hand (((:
settling down all this havoc life .
he's on my mind everyday eheh .
and i'm proud to just say he's mine .
and ya , baby .
i hope today we will unite and everything will go smoothly .
i been thinking no one else can love me better .
so why am i idling ?
th more i idle , th further he will go .
and today i'm gonna make him mine .
putting aside my ego just to say b , will you b mine ?
and yaa , i hope we will go very far .
furthermore , i rejected his proposal & ask him wait till my o finishes ,
this weigh alot on my mind (:
so i wanna be with him ((:
i love him eheh .
3.6.10
~ you're like poison , slowly moving through my system .
breaking down my defenses .
saw bhy cried when i said i wanna leave eheh .
& i love him so much , you think i can see him cry ?
i don't wanna regret my decision so push aside my ego , fear of being hurt
& tell him how much i love him & stuffs .
i really do .
no one can love me more than he do (:
lovehimlaaaa !
muahhh !
it's high time i put aside my fears & start treasuring him .
he's my better half & someone who pamper me alot .
understands my attitude eheh .
never let me down .
eventhough he can't be with me all the time ,
atleast he shows me everyday tht he love me eheh .
so be it if he's far away ,
all i know is his heart is with me .
& if god willings , i hope he's the one i share my future with .
he's th only one who really stick with me thru th gd and bad times .
listening to me whine
& accepting my mood swings without any complaints eheh .
a gentleman in his own ways eheh .
a real man (:
a real lover and not a player .
and if i ever got to know he's tripping ,
i will blame myself for not being good enough for him .
if i know he got a change of heart ,
i will blame myself not able to give him what he deserves .
2.6.10
a heartbreaking day eheh .
memang aku yg mtk kiter end all this .
tpi hati aku sakit , korg ader tao tak ?
aku sedih melepaskan nyer .
tapi aku sayang diri nyer .
aku tak nk satu hari aku dilukai oleh seseorang yang aku amat cintai .
nnt sejarah mengulang .
i'm very fragile .
i think aku tk sanggup membiarkan dier menanti untuk aku .
aku bukan seperti gadis yang lain .
aku ada banyak kekurangan .
jejaka seperti nyer tk layak bersame diri ku .
aku lepaskan nyer , tapi aku yang nangis .
it hurts letting someone who you begin to love go .
and it hurts even more knowing that it's actually your own fault .
and i pray hard , he be happier without me .
pray hard , he find someone better .
pray hard that , i won't crumble and break eheh .
1.6.10
yesterday sat down alone th whole way.
thinking about all those who says they love me eheh .
it's very pathetic how i'm stuck in this kind of situation eheh .
i wish i could leave this kind of situation .
all i need is a special someone & fall in love .
too much of good things can make you sick .
and yeah shaffree didn't text me the whole day ?
didn't even wish me good luck for my paper when everyone does .
they took the initiative to wake up early or not going to sleep just to text me a sweet good luck message .
and he ? i don't know laa.
I'm very sensitive eheh ?
i know . i just wonder why he like don't care lately eheh .
he lives so far away & he can't be with me when i need him .
especially when my life now is pretty much unstable eheh .
i been wanting to leave him eversince he declared himself attached at fb .
i dun wanna be th third party eheh .
Im not desperate to do things like that .
i told him this :
"you wanna flirt tht's your business , but you should know i can replace you easily"
especially when i can just play a fool .
nah ahh . i'm not tht sort .
i want a relationship tht can last long .
bring me higher & never stop loving me for who i am .
& if i were not to find anyone ,
i guess being myself is good enough .
a successful girl doesn't need a guy .
guys only bring girls down .
eheh .
if you're reading my post & realize tht i'm not entertaining you
please know tht i wana this to end .
cause , i'm not good enough .
my love won't go far eheh .
