23.8.10
Im very tired , my head feels heavy.
well, it's okay .
I'm doing great with shaffree.
19.8.10
apakah ni suma kerana aku?
Hey good news first , i got A2 for my malay o level paper .
Wooohooo !
i beat farah , wany , nina , tini all.
HAHA ! SEE WHO GOT THE LAST LAUGH?
ME !
It was unexpected you know.
i didn't even attend my malay classes .
even if i do , i doze off , seriously .
everyone including cikgu Rafidah was so shocked .
pleased that i got a2 i think.
nobody expects it except cikgu Ganda . wooo.
can see farah , wany , tini , nina was cursing me when they saw my name showned at the hall .
so effing proud , hahah !
but kindda sad for farah cause she cried so badly.
she got b3 , she cried . she was aiming for a1 .
haha.
and the funny part was i was exoecting for a f9 .
soo proud.
okayyy !
mum tk kesah. she has this ugly side of her.
i dislike her. but i don't hate her.:]
btw shaff , if u read this , then i hope u call me up .
remember when u told me that we are still on a time off ?
i totally forgot that i was the one who asked for it.
hey , i believed that u know right fauzi is back ?
he misses me , but i'm paying no attention.
you been telling me that ckp ngn dier tkmo ngade2 .
there's nothing you can do bbhy.
everything is in my hand .
i decide who i am with .
i decide !
lately , where u been bhy?
i feel like letting you go bhy.
usually u're the first one to msg me all th sweet stuffs every morning.
and i didn't get it at all now .
maybe you don't want me back , then just tell me right.
stop faking things anymore can?
im tired of all this i love you
but u never spare a thought for me.
your temper is getting worse though.
said u wanna change , give u a chance , but u become worse .
no matter what bhy, i wanna be with you.
15.8.10
Ohh boy, im in love deeper with this guy((:
he's very sweet and caring.
He's there when i need him & everything he do, Im the first thing he will think about((:
he tells me everyday how precious i am to him even after eight months being together.
he doesn't get bored of my silly attics and never disappoint me.
He's not like the other guys who have been thru my heart.
He's serious about us and he shows it to me sincerely (:
my girls are filled with envy .
they are saying how good he is to me and how sweet we are together.
he forgives me for all th wrongs i did((:
he forgave me when i was tripping and i'm very,extremely,so,highly grateful for that.
without him , i dun wanna replacements.
without him , i rather stay single.
He's everything i need.
He embrace my flaws and make me sound so perfect for him.
his friends telling him that he's finally found his ms. right.
his cousins praised him for the right choice.
hell yeah to all my exs.
that's your lost.
HAHAH!
baby, i love you more and more.
14.8.10
i had a bad nightmare.
first,it was joyful and so blissful between me and shaffree.
suddenly, it all changed.
he met someone i trusted. trusted so much that i allowed them to meet up for a chat.
didn't expect them to fall in love together
caught them having a sexual intercourse . and i was very upset .
but somehow , i let it be and continue my relationship with him.
in that dreams every promise he had made to me in reality play around my mind.
he started to neglect me while i was busy doing our wedding preparations.
then one day, he was talking to her outside my house, i asked him to come in and bath with me, but he decline , waving his hand . and i received msg from him saying: "i wanna be with her a while , you go bath and off to work" . then i said " ok, i go bath kay?'
then i cried. cause he was happier with someone else. never expect they to hurt me .
then th girl come in when i already ready to go out , she said " he loves me loser, he's mine"
the words seem so true, and it hurts me alot. especially th promises he made was playing around my mind. it seem very true. the feelings seem so surreal. till one day he comes to me saying he wanna leave me. and i, being so ego, let him be, but i cried after he left. then suddenly it change , i saw his wedding pic with th person i trusted th most ! damn ! im hurt .
8.8.10
i cried seeing him on th msn.
is it cause i miss him or is it cause we are nothing at all?
he's good looking , he has this nice characteristic at times?
he cares for me, love me and everything.
why am i letting go such a gem?
no one else may love me like he did.
i told beber, i'm looking forward for the day when i and him patch up.
& this relationship, i want it for life.
i want him to be there when i'm giving birth.
be there when i get my o certificate.
be there for me.
you all know? a girl's heart is fragile.
once broken, never can be mended.
and yah, it gets so hard to love again. but this lovely angel threw in the life line just in nick of time, love me for who i am.
why am i leaving?
i promised him
and i wanna make him mine.
forever.
7.8.10
Figeriee (: says (9:47 PM):
Actually Im thinking of being a guy that can replace him and any other guys that u know. But. Nvm i dont think is Possible. I scared i might hurt you also.why is it that there's alot of guys wanna replace the only guy in my heart right now?why are they treating my break up as an opportunity to get me?
why aren't they saying " that's bad. i think you have to talk things out." ?
why? they claimed to love me.
love doesn't mean you have to possesse that someone right?
you wanna your loved ones to be happier.
that's why i'm letting go shaffree .
he's happier with ee and his own family.
i don't wish to start a war .
when he comes back , i wish i'm ready to leave.
cause idw him to suffer.
i'm crying that's for sure.
but i know i'll be fine.
it's saturday and i have no plans sehhh.
i find it funny when i realised that i'm no longer as outgoing as dulu.
usually, im already joining th fun at town with my friends.
jie ying text me saying she's at town.
hmmmms. ((: i was studying at that point of time.
ouhh ya, i miss my ninja turtle. wondering if he's still mine.
Broken up with him like on the last two days.... zzzzzzzzzzz.
kay period about this breaking up thingy eheh.
if it's meant to be, it will be.
i hope he's enjoying himself in genting without me.
any idea how i think of him?
i look around and life seem so empty without him.
he used to be there texting me all the day.
saying he miss me everything.
but he changed. he dun care about me anymore.
he only think about himself.
everything he said, he thinks it's right and everything i said to defend myself are lies to him.
he blames in on my ego and my stubborness not to listen.
but does he know that i only fight back when i feel it's wrong?
his ego kills me and he doesn't know that.
he said i was the main reason we fight.
but he forgets that it takes two hands to clap.
he brag to me how patience he was to me.
i never tell him that i'm patience and very lenient too.
cause his changes had a big impact on me.
cause lately, i'm starting to fall for him.
starting to love him.
but how can i admit it ?i'm so proud about myself and i'm so scared that he would take advantage of my love and use it as my weakness .
he said wait for him to change. but how long baby? i miss you here.
but i gotta hold on. i need to wait. he said our book our love is written by me so that i make decision about our storyline. but does romeo knows that juliet is hanging on for him?
i miss him uh.
yesterday i saw farhan. my last time fling.
he happened to be eating at my mother's shop and i have to serve him.
stupiak-ly i pass him my number.
stupid dumb fark.
he was telling me how much he misses me.
how much he miss the way i hold him and my kisses.
=.=
he asked me if i was willing to be his one and only.
and my answere was,
"haha! da tnyer byk kali, and i always said no"
he sulked and asked me why
i said u got alot of girls
when u were with me also, you were saying ily to them.
kissing them all.
i don't want to be hurt by you.
so he waited for me after work.
i was like wtfark!
dammmn luhh.
tryna act all sweet and romantic .
i was like " i'm over you and zzzzzz"
so i was falling asleep in the bus then he pull me to lie down on him.
i pushed him away then he pulled me back.
so i groaned saying " fuck off , im att!"
so he was giving me that sadddddddddddd face.
whatever luhh.
he said before he left.
he will wait for me.
and i was like don't waste your time.
i'm not interested babe !
hah !
so yaaaa.
torn with jie ying yesterday night to study.
i studied alot till people around was saying " tk penat per?"
those are the mac workers and riders.
i made friends. just one night friends.
they were joking all the way and i couldn't help but to laugh along.
they are kind unlike the other group at another side.
giving us horny remarks and i got so angry that i sound them.
dammn!
jie ying went home at 5.30 and i went home around 6.15 .
so tired fall asleep.
and wake up to study again.
hah . now break !
i miss you .
how do i address you now since we are on th time out?
i miss you.
i love you.
i need you.
i want you.
you're my hot ass love((:
6.8.10
i may the one asking for th break up.
but i was also the one losing out.
losing the guy who truly loves me.
but bhy, you never stop and think about me.
im effing sad that i gotta leave,
but if i stay u will never learn tht each day you hurt me more and more.
you never learnt that i love you but you are oblivious about it.
honey, each day, we fight.
making me feel ultra useless .
bhy. u opened up my heart.
but you're also th one breaking me apart.
honey, i will miss you.
cause this break up caused me pain too.
not only to u.
but i need to walk away.
walk off.
gtg.
5.8.10
i dunnoe what else to say hunney.
after u leave for your genting, imma disappear.
dun bother finding me.
whatever your cousin said was right,
i shouldnt be a burden to you.
i shouldnt stay on.
im the main reason why this happen.
if being with you makes everyone ard u sad, then imma leave.
dun find me honey.
i will be fine.
god knows why im crying.
honey
you deserve much better.
better for me to let go now.
you go ahead.
be happy.
3.8.10
heyooh .
There's something weighing in my mind.
Yet i don't know how to get it across.
baby, iloveyou.
More than words could explain.
i wanna u be the father of my child in th future.
the head of my household.
the one who i grow old and wrinkly with.
the one i share my joy and pain with.
but all this need time baby.
i need you here.
i want you here.
be whoever comes into my life in the pursuit to happiness,
i'm sure you're the only one in my mind.
the only one i effing share my life.
and no one, NO ONE, can replace you in my heart.
you were there for me all th time.
you were th one who threw in the life line to save me.
the one who revive me when my heart stopped beating.
you are the one who always be patience and understanding.
think of me first before others.
i like ur grandmother.
so cool((:
Bby, i hope you understand that i love you.
But i need time to let go of my past((:
Wait for me baby.
Wait for me to give you everything.
Wait for me to be the effing best.
Baby, wait for me.
It's gonna be worth the wait.
That i promise you..
Honey,today is the third.
today ought to be the day where we come together as one last two months.
but you were already asleep.
so baby, on the fourth .
Let's do something we both like.
trust me when i say i love you
your love is strong that's why we are here .
though, i hurt you alot ,
i'm grateful that you never give up on me.
you're a part of me now and also in the future((:
my eternal bliss((:
