I'm missing him terribly . but when he comes out , i'm sure everything change.
I don't quite trust him when he's surfing the net after strings of incidents happened .
But imma put it aside and spend time with him babe . cause if he were to give me all these shits anymore , imma leave . caused i already sweared .
he was so tired when he called just now . so sad uhuh . hope he'll have plenty of rest when he gets back home . imma fetching him from his home team on the 24th.
i still remembered the first movie we watch together . DESPICABLE ME .
he dragged me to th movies cause i keep saying i wanna watch then next min , i don't.
((:
his hands was holding my hands all the way during the movie. cuddled me once in a while and tells me how adorable i looked that day .
then th day we went picnic . i laid down on his lap and he was playing with my hair .
his ever so charming face was capturing my attention. and i was like a small kid playing with ants and fire . he made plans for us to buy a tent for us to picnic one day .
hmms . alot more memories . like th day we went swimming , seesha and yeahh .
the first time i saw him , he was so mat rep and i thought that he wounldn't be the right one , but in the end , see. we are still together . he was observing me all the way . i remembered it was like yesterday . and i miss those moments . th late phone calls where we would talk for hours . the sweet voice of his makes me smile . he would always know what to say . thinking back , he sacrificed alot for me .
gee . im crying now . he did alot for me . those were the days where i trust him not to contact other girls and remain true. im just scared he cannot leave his girl(spacebar)friends .
scared la . gee . his father adore me . treats me like im his own daughter . ((:
seriously , i think im not good for him . my attitude sucks . i cannot control my anger . seriously .
baby , im sorry . i love you dear .
When life gets hard and no one is there for you , just take it in your stride and smile . Pray hard that everything's gonna be okay . don't fret . pampering myself with everything i have . meeting jy ltr at orchard uhuh . then imma go tamp , i think to visit someone uh . i'm trying to occupy my time . anw , i keep dreaming that shaff have another girl . HAHAH ! if it comes true , then imma whack that bitch ((: see how uh. i don't have to do anything if he cheat . cause just being me , i can attract attentions ((: im lying on my bed wearing yesterday work attire ((: how disgusting can i get ? hahah ! i was super tired ok , went smoking with my friend after work . talked crap and laughed till my side hurts . one thing bastard about th world now is that i always see couples hugging th way we used to . and couples fighting , arguing , kissing , holding hands and joke around . we used to do all things together . we used to be inseparable . but yeah . precisely im alone out here , i should pamper myself and do things which are neccessary (: i don't wanna be hanging on him till i can't think properly . i am afterall an independant young lady . women doesn't need men to live ((: we have our own standards of living , we can make it happen . we don't need men to make us complete . why sad ? he's only in ns . not as if he's leaving what . even if he's leaving , i won't cry . cause there's more to life . i'm still pretty anyways ^^ that's what people always say ((: i can get any other guys . shaff knows how hard it is to get me . hahah ! almost six months of waiting uh and i totally ignore him. HAHAHAH ! fergie is so hot (; wanna be like her uh . nicole is hot too ((: I wanna start pampering myself uh. later. after surfing this internet . ((: hahahah !~[:
Boyf went to ns. and im feeling so lonely . i got no friends . family also not close . It's feel like i'm living on my own . Who am i to complain ? im just a girlf . i'm just a girlf. but dies he know tht this gilrf misses him so badly ? his girlf yg dier abaikan ? i know i should be considerate but i cannot . he means the whole world to me . so used to talking on the phone with him while otw to work and home . but now , silence )): any idea how im missing him? it's like the entire world turned to black and white . when i go sleep , that's where i seek solace . he didn't msg me or call me . he msg me one or two msges and 2 to 3 mins call and claimed that his officer won't let him used the phone . dangg . whereas my friends said that he can call me till midnight . my friends was from police too. he changed la . and i asked for time off . i know it's a bad thing to do . but i got to . it's like so sudden he's not here for me . and alot of things hppn in a shrt time . no one is here to give me support . i'm having a major headache today . my head hurts till now . guess what i eat today ? chicken rice only ((: im on diet laa . more like no mood to eat . i know he told me not to skip my meals when he's inside but i have no appetite . it's only awhile but there's alr a guy tryna replace my boyf . wtf ! anw , back to the main topic . i just feel left out you know . if my brother can call his gf for hours while he's in camp why can't he ? i'm eating alone , going work alone , going home solo . spending my off days alone . it's not fair . why others get his attention and calls ? and when it comes to me , it's only awhile . i'm th one who's missing him and crying cause i can't meet him or call him . it's a big change la . he used to be there for me everytime . being without him makes me realise how badly i treated him . hmmms . im sorry . i bet after he finished his ns , things gonna change from the way i know . I'm sorry . all i hope is he'll be alright inside there . atleast try to achieve his goals . anything i'll be there for him . i'm willing to be neglected for his future . (: i should start occupy myself with better things . so that , i wouldnt feel the time . and i need to distance myself from him . so that i won't get hurt . if he truly loves me , he would get us back close . ^^ im counting on him . but if he doesn't then nevermind .
how do you heal a heart that cannot feel anymore ?
