Boyf went to ns. and im feeling so lonely . i got no friends . family also not close . It's feel like i'm living on my own . Who am i to complain ? im just a girlf . i'm just a girlf. but dies he know tht this gilrf misses him so badly ? his girlf yg dier abaikan ? i know i should be considerate but i cannot . he means the whole world to me . so used to talking on the phone with him while otw to work and home . but now , silence )): any idea how im missing him? it's like the entire world turned to black and white . when i go sleep , that's where i seek solace . he didn't msg me or call me . he msg me one or two msges and 2 to 3 mins call and claimed that his officer won't let him used the phone . dangg . whereas my friends said that he can call me till midnight . my friends was from police too. he changed la . and i asked for time off . i know it's a bad thing to do . but i got to . it's like so sudden he's not here for me . and alot of things hppn in a shrt time . no one is here to give me support . i'm having a major headache today . my head hurts till now . guess what i eat today ? chicken rice only ((: im on diet laa . more like no mood to eat . i know he told me not to skip my meals when he's inside but i have no appetite . it's only awhile but there's alr a guy tryna replace my boyf . wtf ! anw , back to the main topic . i just feel left out you know . if my brother can call his gf for hours while he's in camp why can't he ? i'm eating alone , going work alone , going home solo . spending my off days alone . it's not fair . why others get his attention and calls ? and when it comes to me , it's only awhile . i'm th one who's missing him and crying cause i can't meet him or call him . it's a big change la . he used to be there for me everytime . being without him makes me realise how badly i treated him . hmmms . im sorry . i bet after he finished his ns , things gonna change from the way i know . I'm sorry . all i hope is he'll be alright inside there . atleast try to achieve his goals . anything i'll be there for him . i'm willing to be neglected for his future . (: i should start occupy myself with better things . so that , i wouldnt feel the time . and i need to distance myself from him . so that i won't get hurt . if he truly loves me , he would get us back close . ^^ im counting on him . but if he doesn't then nevermind .