i went to the club yesterday eventhough i don't feel like it .
had fun anyways but my heart was crying out for boyfriend to just notice me .
he can go out and have fun and totally forget about me , why can't i ?
is it because i love him too much or is it because i knew he doesn't care ?
tears slowly falls down my cheeks and i rubbed it away , pretending i was tired.
what could i say ? my heart is only with him .
jie ying , almost a month since i last meet her . irfan , it's been 2 months .
i got no time for them . i work from monday to friday . at times saturdays and sundays too .
when i off , i wanna meet my boyfriend but it seem that in his heart , there's someone elses he wanna meet . deep down inside i was wondering where did i go wrong ?
it seems that alot eof things he hides away from me ? or was i blind that i couldn't see it all ? why am i in love ? when love hurts badly ? he told me love doesnt hurt . loneliness hurts . rejections hurts . but isn't that the part and parcel of love ? i just wanna his attention . but it seem his attention also i can no longer get . the person who i used to know changed within a year . how could it possibly be ? i never been the type of girl who tend to enjoy and leave her boyf all alone . i used to be sitting at home and lived my life around the mobile phone . waiting and hoping they would call . but that girl was remained unnoticed . why the bloody hell should i be sitting at home and remained unnoticed ? being called irritating ? being called a bitch ? i should go all out right ?
they don't understand how i feel . when i meet my baby , i want to be hug like always . but all we do is fight . we keep on fight . where's the happiness ? where did the old us go ? where did the couple who our friend would envy go ? memories of us dating at cityhall , at bugis , at orchard with ee . at arcade . they just keep spinning in my head . and i cannot help but to break down , i was so in love that i couldn't see . he's becoming like any of my exs .mtk space . exactly the same . and he'll be saying , not everyone is the same , but when i flirted that time he said i was the same of his any exs . and i just apologize and when i tell him he's like any of my exs , he will blow his top and say papelaaa. i know it's time for me to go and sleep and pretend i didn't cry while writing this . i know i have lost his love , that's okay . i know , i know . for as long as i'm still breathing , i don't wanna to fall in love with anyone . my boyf promised me he'll take gd care of me . but in the end , i end up broken .