30.4.11
this goes to someone special in my life.
remember when we first set eyes on each other , we never did expect to go this far in a short period of time. and we were both unsure of each other's feelings.
and as time pass by, we realised we need each other. and it's no longer a game or another tagged date. it's our happiness. and you've been wonderful in everyway baby.
but i wanna know. what's really deep in your heart.?
i'm still fussing about her. it might sound foolish and even insane to you.
but this is how i feel. you still love her baby.
my friends are telling me i should fight for what i love .
but i hold on different principles. the people who love me should fight to stay with me. cause that's when i feel safe. each time i try to talk to you about this matter , i just couldn't find the right time for us to talk about it. and you can see i'm getting rather restless.
five years of loving a person ; you got over her in less than 2 months.?
your reason was that she was cheating on you.
but if my sister who cheated on his boyf for several times and still are together due to the love they had was simply to long to be over just like that. mind you , they are five years together.
they spilt once cause my sis was cheating but they reconcile once again.
somewhere in your heart , why don't you start afresh with her. she maybe a flirt and horny. but i think that's where your love truly belongs.
she's everything that i'm not.
and you deserve that baby. a beautiful lady by your side who whimps all the time.
who love to be pampered and everything. the one who wears all the latest clothing lines and the feminine type. that's what you deserve. a dashing gentleman should go with a beautiful lady. try to relax abit and think about th good times you both had. it'll ease th pain.
but to receive true love , you need to give them endless chances till they realise.
and i don't think your heart beats for me. it's beating for her.
as i'm typing this down , my heart feels so heavy. knowing that we'll never go th same way again. and like adam and eve ; tragedy is a destiny.
search deep in your heart , try to dig deeper . you'll see the one who you truly love. and when you do , i know i will play no part in that.maybe i am over reacting. but why is it that your affection doesn't seem genuine.? why do i feel like you're putting an act for me to see.?
i've been trying to talk to you but you'll just brush me aside and then expect me to say it again.
the timing must be right. but i never can find th right time for us.
are you putting a show for me and her.?
to show her that you can be happy without her when you know you cannot.?
i like you better when we are friends. where we would spend the time talking about us and no one else actually matter.
what i thought was totally th opposite of the reality.
and tell me honey , am i wrong here.?
sometimes when i stare blankly at you or just keeping silence suddenly , know that i'm thinking about us.
and as much as i love you , i know receiving your love and affection genuinely is out of th question.
therefore i say ; i will support you if you want to win her back.
cause loving someone isn't about possessing the particular someone , but to see that someone happy even without you. and i believe strongly she's the key to your happiness.
29.4.11
the world is getting smaller right with each day.?
where's th privacy seh.?
well i don't care cause i'm sick and tired of th everyday dramas everywhere i go to.
from home to school and to workplace.
HMMMS.
anw, kinda had a small tiff with boyf.
well everything's fine now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
OKAY.
now i need to know one simple thing.
does he love me .? or am i just another replacement.
he meet me everyday and everything.
but his affection.? why don't i really feel it.?
is it because i was hurt too deep.?
the betrayal that i felt two months ago was so painful that i couldn't really break the barrier is it.?
why is it that i feel that we'll never make it through.
he's nice and everything.
gentleman. and very sweet.
but his affections towards me .?
why does it feels so different .?
why do i feel like it's one sided affair now.?
Hmms.
staring at him and wondering .
i just need to hear th truth.
simply th truth.
no lies.
PLEASE.
26.4.11
which girl would like it when her boyf keeps comparing her with his ex.?
tell me. no, i'm not angry. i just felt inferior.
ye laa. she's pretty and dresses well.
fuck her. NO. I AM NOT JEALOUS.
i just wonder at time to time , if he loves me or still hanging on to his ex.?
i love him & i do. he's not like any other ex of mine.
tell me why i'm with him so fast.>
cause i need him. and he show me what love is actually.
he's different from other guys i've known.
sometimes i just feel like drifting apart from him.
25.4.11
i'm thankful that i took th risk to allow him in my heart.
these days with him , i didn't regret any of those moments.
in fact i'm grateful that god actually let me love this angel.
never really had doubts against him.
i feel so secured. this secured feeling makes me happy.
and eventhough it's only a short while , i felt that i've known him for ages.
and i know i'll never let him go no matter what.
and we are both learning to keepit real.
i don't need him to be here 24/7.
i just need him to drop by once in a while and say he loves me.
need him to tell me at times how much he need me in his life .
i don't need to be treated like a princess. Get a life.
I'm independent. Grr.
I like it how he always assure me with his words and actions.
i like th way he hold me everyday. th way he's holding on me.
th way he is. And th truth is i didn't thought we would work it out laaa.
this is my one last shot in love. if he ever ever hurt me , i will walk away.
and i know he will never hurt me . i love him so much. <3
24.4.11
he's simply the best i ever had.
Umm. honestly. This is the truth.
I used to fear to fall for him.
sometimes when i look at him in his eyes.
i wonder what's going in his mind.
I'm confused at that moment but when he held me close to him and the beat of his heart , i was sure he loves me sincerely la kan.
But sometimes i'm confused by his face expression. Always so serious. but it's the whole paskage.
Where else can i find another him like him.?
he meet me almost everyday without fail. eventhough at times , it's only for a while.
but he make it a point to meet me and tell me in everyway he loves me.
i feel safe when he said trust him.
i do trust him.
he asked me if he'll make a good husband. Im pretty sure he will.
he helps me around at the stall. since when my ex did that.?
my ex just sat down and get cranky.
but this wonderful guy actually get up from his seat and help me to do the dishes and etc.
Was soo shocked. but was very appreciative.
it's not about the big things. it's about the smallest things he would do to make me smile and everything. He's like always there for me.
when we start to text , told him i was upset over an incident , he actually have the initiative to call me and asked what happen.
I love him from the start. but i always had my reservation in falling in love with him too much.
but now im pretty sure i'm falling deeper.
16.4.11
my sweet honey star.
MCM MODEL KANN.?
TAUUU. TKYA CKP.
hahah. I'm in love with the best .
Trust me ((:
HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST.
and the way he love me was extremely cute.
He makes me smile all th time.
cares for me everything .
Make time for me eventhough he's busy.
Calls me his sayang.
Love the way he look me in my eyes.
as if he's telling me he loves me.
people keep telling me we are sweet together.
it is simply because he is the sweetest thing ever.
and everyday i thanked god for blessing me with such an angel .
never will i do him wrong .
every day he'll tell me how much he loves me and treasure me.
everyday he'll say he miss me and assuring me that i'm the only girl he love now .
i love him too. ((:
12.4.11
it's been one month plus since i broke up.
someone actually came in my life soon after that.
And it's like i never knew love before.
he's sweet everything and yeaa. it's cool.
this is a confession from me okay.
The way he love me is totally different. he appreciates me and everything .
but as much as i want him here , i don't know if i ever be good enough for a guy like him.
I'm broken . I wanna give him the best that i can offer.
I can't tell him something which ain't real.
i love him and he said he loves me .
What are we doing.?
Is this how things should go.
I think he's too good for me and he always say i deserve it.
And i know he's good , gentleman .
But why am i so scared.
He promised me that he'll be there when i need him.
But i'm still scared. I know he feels the same .
:D
i just hope he won't hurt me.
10.4.11
i hope he'll never hurt me.
Taufik says: That was what more or less happened to me. It's was quite a blow for me although my ex cheated on me only two times. But I didn't give up. Because I waited for her for so long. She knew I waited for her and kept testing me for a few years. YEARS! and when all this happened after we did so much together, it was quite traumatizing for me to fall in love again thus losing my sense of trying win a girl's heart over. You see, after listening to her experience, I know with my eyes and heart that she is really both beautiful outside and inside. She never gave up on love until she realized that what she was trying to do was not worth it at all. She is what all guys could ever ask for. She seems like the ideal woman, a perfect girlfriend. At such an age, it really amazes me how she could handle all this with such bravery and will to make things right. Furthermore she's so responsible. I really like her. In fact, more than that. She easily got my heart in such a short time. I miss her. Dearly. I would never dare to hurt her fragile heart If she's willing to accept me.
6.4.11
Why am i crying right now.? I was so sure i wouldn't be crying anymore. the one meal a day is actually to torture myself for not treasuring him. And i can't seem to get him outta my head. maybe i did . but each time i came across his profile , i would think about our memories. and it's wrong right .? I know. He'll be sorry that i'm not around ((: And i think i'm falling for someone else ((:
